The Hissing Lobster, Part 1
As the four of them progressed up the Queen's Highway, it felt only natural to stop at the famous Hissing Lobster deep in the Dragontail Mountains. Arriving at the Inn in early evening, they came upon an unassuming 3 story wooden building deep in the woods, not far from an impressively large graveyard.
"This is it? Really?" Francisco asked. "It looks tiny!"
"Don't be deceived by appearances." Elias said. "I feel divine magic coming off that door."
"Really? Whose?" Francisco asked. "I can hear the faint noise of laughter and talking from inside, but nothing else."
"Only one way to find out, you two. Come on." Nalaea said, pushing past them and opening the door.
Elias was intrigued to find the bottom floor was far, far larger than the outside, which confirmed his suspicions of divine magic at work. gesturing at the other 2, Mabel and Francisco followed Elias inside, and made their way up to the bar, where they spotted 5 empty stools. Looking closely at one of them, Elias noticed it was completely black unlike the other red stools, and had a reserved card on it.
"Afraid you can't sit there, that one's reserved." The Innkeeper said with a laugh. "Take the other four though, they're free. What can I get you all?"
"Well I'd like to book a couple rooms for the night, if you have any." Elias said, reaching into his pocket only to find Mabel stopping him and shaking her head.
"We always have rooms available." The Innkeeper said, smiling. "But for you? No charge. We'll talk when the bar closes about that. How about drinks? Food?"
"It has been a long journey." Mabel said, sitting down next to Elias. "Give us your best slop... Innkeeper."
The Innkeeper winked at Mabel and retreated to the kitchens, leaving them alone for a moment.
"What was that about?" Nalaea asked, taking the fourth seat at the end.
"You'll find out later." Mabel said with a slight smile as he returned with food and drinks.
---
Two hours later, Elias found himself in an argument over the size of a sea serpent with another patron. He wasn't sure why it even mattered, and wished the man would just go away, but he wouldn't.
"They're ten league long I tell you!" The man shouted at Elias.
"Why does it matter?" Elias asked with a sigh, which seemed to irritate the man even more.
"Why does it matter? Why does it matter he asks!"
Across the room, Francisco was flirting with an entire table of women, who were captivated by the suave Lestian, as he told tales of his exploits over the past 10 years. Mabel nudged Nalaea and pointed at Francisco and his new harem of ladies while giggling.
"How many do you think he'll bed?" Mabel whispered.
"At this rate? All of them. Hey Innkeeper, make it three rooms, I'm not into the kid and I don't want to interrupt him."
---
Hours later still, Elias had had enough of the angry sea serpent man and had punched him out, leaving the man's friends to carry him off with their apologies. Francisco and most of the women had disappeared upstairs, much to Mabel's amusement.
"Sure you're not into him?" Mabel asked Nalaea, nudging her.
"Mabel I'm gay." Nalaea finally said, fed up with her teasing.
"Wait really?" She asked, mildly surprised. "Wait, no, that explains-"
"You say another word and I'll pull that tongue out." Nalaea said, grabbing Mabel's throat. "Got it?"
Mabel smiled and pulled Nalaea's hand off her with ease. "I may not be her, but I'm still just as strong as her. But I understand now."
"Do you?" Nalaea asked, rubbing her hand. Mabel wasn't exactly gentle about removing her hand.
Mabel leaned over and whispered into Nalaea's ear for some time, who turned various shades of bright red as Mabel said more and more depraved things, licking her teeth as she did so.
"Absolutely not!" Nalaea stammered, horrified. "It was just-just-"
"Just what?" Mabel asked, smiling. "A lie? To your Goddess? You know what she does to liars. Besides, you got the body for it."
"What is with her!" Nalaea shouted. "I thought that stuff was Zalas!"
"Made a promise to someone you didn't know was a pervert?" The Innkeeper asked, cutting in as he dropped 2 more pints of beer off for them. "Could feel it on your soul. You're basically a demon now, you know."
"What do you know about demons?" Nalaea asked, giving him a glance.
"Until last week? Nearly nothing." He admitted, wiping the counter. "Then I met Demon Queen Xellma."
"It's nearly midnight, old man. We've kept them in suspense long enough." Mabel said, gesturing at the nearly empty tavern. "Let's clean up then get talking."
"Wait why do we have to clean up this mess?" Nalaea protested, but it fell on deaf ears.
As the four of them cleaned up, the few remaining patrons took the hint and started going up to their rooms. It was well known the tavern itself closed at midnight, and once you were upstairs you couldn't go back down until morning. As Mabel ushered the guests from the basement upstairs and then out of the tavern itself, Elias mopped the floor while Nalaea gathered discarded mugs.
Nalaea looked at some of the mugs she was picking up, and couldn't believe her eyes. Some of these were relics! Covered in lost forgotten languages, some were even encrusted in jewels.
"Where do you get these mugs?" She asked.
"Oh, here and there. Sometimes a traveller leaves one behind, you know how it is." He replied with a smile.
"Cut the bullshit, the tavern's empty now." Nalaea shot back.
"I suppose. It's well past time to end this little farce anyway. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vaust, the God of Luck. Pleased to make your acquaintance." Vaust said, as the tavern shimmered, and they were pulled into the place between the planes.